You were in my head just now, but you still don't get it? Are you stupid?
[She knows it doesn't really work like that. It's just the easiest way to regain some control: joke around, put someone down.]
It's not that I wanted to give up. I just didn't want to be alive if it meant I'd have to live like that.
[Stuck going through the motions in her first life, alone and unable to be her, then stuck as a Reaper in her afterlife, monitoring loop after loop of their unending Game, unable to see any of the few friends that she'd somehow managed to make in person ever again. It feels strange, saying it out loud—to a stranger, no less... But can they really be called strangers after all this?
When Flowey starts listing off the things she could want, she exhales a hollow almost-laugh.]
... Yeah. I could go for all of that. Grab a snack, go shopping, see the sights, play some FanGO... [She trails off.] Guess I just want to do as I please, too. And be with the people I wanna be with. That'd be enough meaning for me. [There's an uncertain pause. Even if she could have all of that, something about it still unnerves her.] But I haven't been alive for a while. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it. It's just easier, not having to worry about that.
[She can't be with her friends here either. If death or erasure were to come for her again, she isn't sure if she'd have it in her to fight it or not.]
My turn. You said you could do anything you wanted. Did you want to be that miserable, then?
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[She knows it doesn't really work like that. It's just the easiest way to regain some control: joke around, put someone down.]
It's not that I wanted to give up. I just didn't want to be alive if it meant I'd have to live like that.
[Stuck going through the motions in her first life, alone and unable to be her, then stuck as a Reaper in her afterlife, monitoring loop after loop of their unending Game, unable to see any of the few friends that she'd somehow managed to make in person ever again. It feels strange, saying it out loud—to a stranger, no less... But can they really be called strangers after all this?
When Flowey starts listing off the things she could want, she exhales a hollow almost-laugh.]
... Yeah. I could go for all of that. Grab a snack, go shopping, see the sights, play some FanGO... [She trails off.] Guess I just want to do as I please, too. And be with the people I wanna be with. That'd be enough meaning for me. [There's an uncertain pause. Even if she could have all of that, something about it still unnerves her.] But I haven't been alive for a while. Maybe I'm just not cut out for it. It's just easier, not having to worry about that.
[She can't be with her friends here either. If death or erasure were to come for her again, she isn't sure if she'd have it in her to fight it or not.]
My turn. You said you could do anything you wanted. Did you want to be that miserable, then?